Posted by: jacstar | November 21, 2008

Chosen by P. C. and Kristin Cast

chosenThis is the third book in the House of Night series and I’m just going to say it. This is the worst book ever written. I read just over 100 pages, which is over one/third the book and here is what I learned. Zoey makes out with Professor Loren Blake and now has three boyfriends, yet denies being a tramp. Aphrodite replaces Stevie Rae as Earth in the circle.

OK so that might have been a spoiler, but really – this book spoils itself. If I only learned two new things in over 100 pages, then clearly you are just reiterating the same garbage from the first two stories.

The things that are repeated way too many times to count: Stevie Rae is both dead and undead. They can’t just say she’s undead apparently, that’s not enough. It has to be said as dead undead EVERY TIME. We know she died in the second book and we know Neferet changed her into some monster. We get it, but please feel free to tell us a few more times just to be sure. And while you’re at it, please tell us who Zoey’s best friend is. Because I may have forgotten the first 30 times it was stated.

We learned the Cherokee word for daughter, again. We know that Zoey is better off with her grandmother and has a better relationship with her. We know her mom is an idiot who married a religious cult guy AKA the “step-loser” but feel free to write about it all over again.

We know that Heath is a human boyfriend. Boyfriend #2. Zoey imprinted him in the first novel, and again in the second. But sure, I want to hear this story again so why not tell it to me again in the third?

We know there are 5 elements and what they are, but each time you tell us about one you feel the need to mention all the others as well.

Aphrodite fought with her parents in the second novel. You really didn’t need to retell the whole episode in the third novel. If people actually care, they might go back and read.

We know what the formers are. Third Former is the first high school grade (I believe this is Freshman in the states), Fourth Former is the second, etc. So if Eric is a Fifth former then he’s in his third year. If Eric’s roommate Jack is a third former, that means he’s two levels below Eric… I appreciate that you spelled that out though.

Honestly, it’s the most condescending crap I’ve ever read in my life and I had to stop before finishing because I felt I was becoming LESS intelligent. To the authors, here is some advice. The run on sentences, need to be broken down. The parentheses need to go. I started skipping over them entirely and missed nothing.

You can’t take the first novel and rename it – and then tell people it’s the third novel. You’re taking us for fools. Turns out, you don’t need to repeat everything from the previous novels, or the previous chapters for that matter. You’ve said it once, now let it go.

The twins? What the hell is that nonsense? You have two people with one character. That’s boring and uncreative. A side note here, actual twins don’t refer to each other as twins in every sentence, nor do they need to add the same thought to the first sentence. Example, Shaunee doesn’t have to say “agreed, twin” it can just be assumed that she does.

You don’t need to use the following words/phrases ever again – you’ve used them enough already “step-loser, ‘rentals, hag from hell, birthmas, twin”

Figure out your target audience. It says teen fiction but I’m not sure what teen would actually read this without being offended. Anyone above 16 would understand the repetition and likely move on without finishing and without looking back. Anyone under 14 should probably not be reading about blow jobs and sluttyness. So that leaves the 15 year olds. Or maybe those with a learning disability or memory problems. They might like things repeated ten-fold.

This book is so utterly terrible that I absolutely hate the main character. She lies, she cheats, and she treats her friends like dirt. She gets everything but deserves nothing.

I wanted to tear out every single page that annoyed me with repetition and stupidity but each page has so many things that create this wave of hatred, I think it would be physically impossible to tear the pieces to such a tiny degree. I wanted to get out my red pen and start editing but really, that would probably leave us with two pages of story, the rest would be deleted.

I didn’t even want to put my recently purchased book marks in the novel because I didn’t want my bookmarks tainted.

I’m listing all of the ways that this book might be improved in hopes that the authors read and learn for their next novel (or quit writing all together – see parentheses suck). I’ve never wanted to deface a novel so badly, until I picked up this crap.

 

Do yourself a favour – burn these books.

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Responses

  1. Wow… so this won’t go into the “constructive criticism” category then? 😉

  2. You didn’t find that constructive? I gave tips – such as don’t quit your day job.

  3. obviously you werent paying attention during those 100 pages that you claim to have read, the professors name was LOREN BLAKE.

  4. oh i read it. but he wasn’t new. He was interested in her in the previous book. All he did was kiss her.

    Big deal. She already has two boyfriends. One hot human boyfriend and one hot vampire boyfriend… and now one hot professor boyfriend… I’m just repeating all these things because you don’t seem to mind

  5. ha – oh sorry dyslexia… i see what you’re saying. but i still don’t see how that changes anything.

    thanks i’ll fix that.

    do you think if i said “Loren Blake” the first time, instead of “Blake Loren” that that would have made the book better? i really don’t think so

  6. ashley wilhelm: obviously you werent paying attention during those 100 pages that you claim to have read, the professors name was LOREN BLAKE

    OBVIOUSLY youre just nitpicking and being a bitch. Did you come up with all that yourself? lol geez.
    Now if Jacki had said his name was ‘Professor Bob’ then ya say something but when its a matter of someone mixing up the order of a name, fuck off and stop wasting peoples time with your lame irrelevant comments.

  7. lol you go 420 gurl and FUCK YOU JACSTAR WHICH WOULD FIT YOUR PERSONALITY BETTER IF YOU CHANGE YOUR NAME TO JACK-OFF ….peace is broken between us Jack-off

  8. aww Kristen, no peace? However will I sleep at night.

    Perhaps you should read that again, 420 gurl was actually agreeing with me.

    You continue to read this series – I guess there is an audience. I just didn’t think anyone in the world could be stupid enough to have anything repeated to them 100-fold… but then there is you

  9. Hey Jac…just here to show my support…LOL. I find it so simple minded when people you don’t even know come on a website and tell you to F*** O**
    You kinda have to wonder if these people even have a life or if their days are filled with sitting at a computer and bitching.
    Anyway, your girls at chapters know how great you are and we all love ya!

  10. It’s true JacStar we are behind you. As a fan of the books we’ve discuused and agreed to disagree on the appeal of these books and all without one bit of vulgarity.
    You dislike them, i enjoy them-mostly and yet we don’t dislike each other.
    To each their own opinion but can’t we find a better diss or comeback than F. Off.?

  11. OOPS! I need spellcheck!LOL

  12. Hi Jac, just showing my support. 🙂 Kinda funny how her only response is F-off…… but wtv. lol Also I don’t really get why she is so upset? So what you mixed his name up big deal?

  13. lol thanks ladies

    i mixed his name, so she mixed up mine… i guess fair is fair?

    except jac-off is kinda masculine if you ask me lol

  14. Showing support for Jac!!!! Whats the big deal? Everyone is entitled to their opinion and your opinion is that this book sucked…. a lot. Plus who uses the F word anymore? Isn’t there like 50 other disses you could use that are way worse, or even swear in a different laguage?

  15. oops.. .put the wrong e-mail address… LMAO

  16. Hey Kristen,

    Your mom goes to college!

  17. Are you sure it s not Blake Loren lol..Wow that changes the whole story. Even if you do hate this series which by the way up to now i like, it is your right to say so and you do have some valid points there. So go ahead and bad mouth the series geez i am not going to cry about it or swear for that matter. So yeah i support you all the way. And if you do need good swear words in another language i am quite good at that. Adios my friend and stay the same. We all like you that way. Even if your taste in books is not always…. lol.P.S. Remember the red tape quote you liked well maybe some people should put some of that sticky stuff to their mouths or fingers in this case instead of writting that crap.

  18. LOL Roger, I half expected you to come on here and drop the F bomb a few times and tell me how terrible my taste in books is…

    But as I said – I could tell you all the reasons why this series sucks, it’s just a matter if you want to see it for what it is, or put some blinders on. lol

    I bet the series could be good if the characters had potential and the authors weren’t wankers

  19. You guys and your lame excuses for swear words. The F word big deal, we have a swear word for every letter in the alphabeth. The nerve of you Jac Star not knowing the name of one of the many caracters in that series. To this i say: So what?. It s not your fault if you do not have good taste in books..oops i mean that you do not have the same opinion has me. By the way Jac ( pipi on you i like the caracters well most of the time ) Imagine telling you to fu.. off over a series. This is just a fun series not a piece of great litterature or the holy bible or some other religious icon. At least we understand to have fun with our differences. We all know that in the long run only one thing counts: POTTER.lol…


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